10. Handle meanial tasks for team members like laundry, cleaning, and doing taxes
9. Create a link from your own website and webpages
8. Make a Facebook App
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10. Get a job at Macdonald's
9. Swimming with sharks in a feeding frenzy, "at least twice"
8. Running a marathon with no previous training, without stopping
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10. CropKenCropKen
9. DropDenDropDen
8. SopZenSopZen
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10. Jamie Kennedy
9. Seth Green
8. Snow
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10. Cultivate a community of writers.
9. A vanity press publication is not a way to get noticed by a big
8. Refer to reliable sources for contest information.
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10. Debate the best (aka least frequented) bathrooms in Jacobs.
9. Relive the glory of this morning's flag football game.
8. 'Crop Dust' the '09 class
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10. Follow Her Into The Bathroom - And straight into the stall. When she turns around and sees you standing behind her, breathing heavily, you just say, “Listen, at some point, you and I might get to a place where we’re naked and urinating on each other, and…I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a pretty good feeling about ‘us’ so far. So, why not expedite the process by having me watch you pee right now?” Dude, you’re home free. Either way, you win. She can ask you to leave, and you will do so feeling a sense of accomplishment, or she can ask you to stay, and you can watch a girl pee! It’s amazing! Holy shit, why haven’t I done this before? I wish I could go back in time, so many times over…
9. Become A Sociopath - If you’ve had enough, but you’re still waiting for your appetizer or first round of drinks to arrive, don’t cancel your order. Stick around, but see if you can’t channel your inner Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son, or Brad Pitt in Kalifornia. In short, be a fucking insane creepy bastard with absolutely no conscience. Talk about torturing puppies and eating AIDS, or whatever the fuck it is crazy people talk about eating that freaks the rest of us out when we’re seated next to them on the bus or train. If she asks you about your family, tell ‘em they’ve “gone away for a while,” and you’re “not sure where they are, but they’re definitely not all in large oil drums soaking in an acid bath for the next two weeks.”
8. Imply That She Has Dark Secrets - Conversation is a funny thing. At one moment, your date might believe you two have a lot in common, and there are no awkward gaps between stories or discussions, and the next moment she’s asking you to please leave and lose her phone number. Why? Because you decided that she’s boring, and that from now on, every time you finish speaking, you’re going to tag on an extra sentence that calls attention to some weirdly perverted dark secret she’s probably keeping from you. For example, you’re talking about how you played basketball in high school, and never really saw much game time. “But hey, you’ve sucked your brother’s penis before, so I’m sure you can relate.” Or, try this one. Your enchiladas arrive, and the red sauce is too spicy. You inform her that, “My taste buds are on fire, but that again, you’ve had that raging case of crabs ever since you fucked your father, so maybe I should just grin and bear it, like you do.”
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10. Go live in Rivendell and work on your book.
9. Buy a bow and some arrows; patrol your local park, and stop pass
8. Drift about your neighbourhood, looking melancholy, wearing an A
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10. http://deardaisycottage.typepad.com/daisy_cottage/
9. http://www.sadieolive.typepad.com/
8. http://tparty.typepad.com/the_tcozy/
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10. 4
9. 6
8. 5
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