10. Adam Sandler
9. Dan Akroyd
8. Phil Hartman
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10. Amare Stoudamire
9. Derek Rose
8. Patrick Ewing Jr.
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10. Francis Obikwelu
9. Ato Boldon
8. Frank Fredericks
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10. McLovin
9. This is Speaker City, not Speaker Ghetto!!!
8. Let's Hug It Out Bitch
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10. The Left-Hand Killer (South Park)
9. Sweeney Todd
8. Michael Myers
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10. Jim Carrey
9. Leonardo DiCaprio
8. Gael Garcia Bernal
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10. Dan Brown
9. Cast of The Sopranos
8. 50 Cent
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10. Pun - Be a pun. Why? Because puns are the funniest, cleverest jokes in the entire medium of comedy. You could construct two effigies that looks somewhat like J.S. Bach, and then affix them to your hips, so that it looks like you’re triple Siamese twins, or maybe it looks like they are sprouting forth from you. Your costume would then be “Outside the Bachs”. You could also go as “Mothra Washington,” “Corn On Macabre” or “Greta Garb(o)age”.
9. Obscure Sports Icon of the ’90s - Who wouldn’t want to dress up as Rick Brunson, Eldridge Recasner, Gary Redus, Brook Jacoby, or Darnell Autry? I’ll tell you who, someone who wants to get noticed by a member of the opposite sex at a party. I guess that makes this a shitty costume idea if you want to bone down with some slutty nurse or slutty cat or slutty slut at a drunken good-time party, but if you’re just going to a bar with the boys (why would you do that on Halloween? That’s a bit gay…), why not try to out-butch one another with dumb sports costumes. I own an old Darnell Autry jersey (#24, Northwestern University), but I’ve got to wait at least another 10 years before he’s obscure enough to be a funny Halloween costume that won’t get me ostracized from all the pussy at the party.
8. Isaac Hayes or Bernie Mac - Don’t forget the toe tag!
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10. Take Parenting Classes
9. Stay Single
8. No new children
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10. Catherine Zeta-Jones
9. Julia Roberts
8. Helen Hunt
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